January 2012
1 post
look at me in the eyes and tell me that you feel...
watching her sleep, peaceful, beautiful, innocent, erased everything from before. knowing she was just out of reach, but there close enough to touch without effort. taunting almost. my sleep came with thoughts of her realising what i saw clearly, that she was the one i needed, and that she needed me as well. but she was glorious and i was nothing, all i could do was lie there and watch...
December 2011
3 posts
the dark is falling again, dragging me under with a silent scream, trapped in my head with no means of escape. it’s happened too much, eventually it must stop. the vain hopes of a brighter day ahead, forever on the horizon like a glimmer of the sun.
readjusting to nights. finding sleep without tracing patterns on your skin mindlessly til it hits, the warmth of your arms gone along with the lullaby of your heart in my ear. the presence of you ,just in the hours leading up to unconscious dreaming, is most obvious when you’re not there, images warped until i question they ever existed to begin with.
innocent touches and sinister thoughts. whispers that scream through the night. where i belong, the space next to you, the only place in my waking dreams. the ache when you’re absent fills the whole of my chest. expanding and growing til there’s nothing left, realities of us crashing into flames and burning infront of my eyes. the dreams keep me sane til i learnn to be strong, then i...
November 2011
3 posts
Your arms are the only ones I need. No imposters could do the job, faking affection in vain hopes of being overcome with everlasting love. You are the only one who has the trick, the nack of knowing when is too much and when is not enough. The right pressure, comfort, breaths and silence. In your arms I am safe and happy. I know joy and I know miracles, I can see the stars. Sat on the floor...
it hit me hardest when i left him as it always did before the wave of black crashing over my head waiting to pull me under knowing it would only take a little for me to fall i knew it would happen, but i didnt want to stop it.
indescribable aches waterfalls for eyes breathing a new but oh so familiar melody the thoughts are back from the dead never really forgotten to tell would be to break
October 2011
7 posts
Learning to be without you was the hardest. Re-realising that I didn’t need you to sleep, breath or exist. I was finally my own person again. it was wonderful and devastating at the same time. I found that I could notice other people, imagine being with them, being without you for good. But that meant that what we had was gone. It scared me more than anything had in a long time.
my perfect boy was slipping away, water through my fingers, untouchable rain. he didn’t want me. it was hard to comprehend at first. not in a vain way, i was in no way perfect or beautiful or desirable, but he made me believe that he’d be mine forever, as i was his. now i couldn’t figure out if he fed me lies over the months, me drinking them up as if they’d save me from...
through our eyes
Through our eyes
We were enviable. As breakable and delicate as each other, different but similar enough to complete each other in ways unimaginable. Words weren’t needed, just eyes and touch and interlocked minds to sense happiness and worry, troubles ahead and exciting things to come. Even the people in the street who couldn’t accept us as a pair wanted to be one of us, her long windswept hair...
We stayed that way for what felt like hours, maybe even days. Running hands over each other’s bodies in the purest way possible, learning where produced involuntary shivers or giggles, where had the softest skin and where had scars and dimples, taking it in turns to list the things we liked most about the other. My list included the way he wasn’t afraid to be completely himself in any situation,...
Take her up and tuck her in, gentle, avoid sudden movements, do not disturb. before you turn out the light kiss her cheek, soft, stained. dwell on better days while she dreams remember the times before waste empty bottles and morning chores when her touch was still loving, passion, real, now a lust she won’t remember tuck her in and hope for better days
Give up, stop, lay down and die, Stop dreaming, stop fighting, don’t even try, No looking for answers, no searching within, No pain visible on your skin. He’s gone, can’t see you, no coming back. Too late to impress, Should have tried when he was here. Learnt to appreciate, Kept him near. Should have thought harder, Realised, cared, Should have known he wouldn’t always be there. ...
your face in my mind my heart in your hands lives intertwined over the miles, my soul feels yours wishes to the stars the ones you see too one day they’ll be more my soul will be yours soft touches and quiet whispers kisses in the dark your arms are my arms our souls complete once more